Trials, Tears, yet Triumphs!

Trials, tears, yet triumphs. These are the words that came to mind as I brainstormed how to summarize our 6 weeks of Training Camp in Georgia. Allow me to expand…

Trials: the definition of trials is a test of performance, qualities, character, or the ability of someone to do something. The trials I experienced during training camp seemed to cover all areas possible; mental, physical, emotional, social, and spiritual. Mentally, I struggled with believing lies about my identity, being anxious about the unknowns, and allowing my focus to drift off of God and onto things that are not at all worth focusing on, like fear, insecurity, pride, and jealousy. Physically, I got sick twice and broke my nose falling out of a hammock in my sleep that was 15 feet in the air(don’t worry, it’s healed now, Praise God!). Emotionally, I struggled with feeling overwhelmed by how much information I was learning, exhausted by how many people I was surrounded by, and discouraged by the ways I feel different from everyone else on my squad because of our different upbringings and lifestyles. Socially, I struggled to open up to people, allow others to help me in my hardships, and relate to people who have grown up in seemingly opposite ways compared to me. And last, but most important, spiritually I struggled to trust God, believe His Truth and what He says about me, and seek Him above all else.

Tears: the trials I endured resulted in many tears, and usually tears of a remarkable size and speed at which they fell. However, I am so thankful for tears and the ability we have as humans to cry. Many people I’ve met view crying as a weakness, but I think it represents true strength and is a testament to the bravery and vulnerability of those who share their tears with us. It even says in the Bible that Jesus wept! What a gift to be able to express ourselves in the same way that our Savior did! And what an honor to be on the recieving end of other people’s tears and get to sit with them in their pain and comfort them! God has taught me so much about vulnerability and inviting others into my struggles and suffering during these last 6 weeks. It is definitely risky, but a risk worth taking regardless. The rewards that I’ve recieved from allowing others to help me and sit with me in my most vulnerable moments have been more impactful than I can put words to. My idea of community has been totally renewed, my sense of worth and identity has been redeemed, and my love for the Lord has been restored and continues to grow with each day that passes. He has used tears to teach me so much, and I am grateful beyond words for it.

Triumphs: with the help of my team, my squad, my leaders, and(my personal favorite) my Creator, I have persisted the trials and tears of training camp and come out the other side triumphant! I can confidently say I am thankful for every hardship I experienced, because the lessons I learned were so worth the suffering. Day by day, the Lord is gently reshaping my heart to love and serve Him and those around me to the fullest. A few of the rewards that He has already blessed me with are a level of connection with people on my squad that I didn’t think was possible, a constant desire to seek the Lord and understand His word, a consistent longing to walk in His plan for me, and a renewed understanding of who He says I am and how I should then live as who He has created me to be. I have full confidence that this is exactly where God wants me to be, and I am inexplicably thankful and content because of that. Praise Him from whom all blessings flow!